ENOUGH!

Stop talking about the Bobby Knight so-called incident, slap, push, inappropriate touching, whatever you want to call it. Just stop it! I can’t listen to it anymore. The horse you just beat to death is now cremated. It didn’t bother the kid. It didn’t bother the kid’s parents, it didn’t bother Knight’s employer Texas Tech, so stop talking about it! Please for the love of god stop talking about whether or it was right or wrong, whether we would be having this conversation if it was another coach, whether or not YOU as a parent would mind this being done to your child, and if it had been done to your child, how you would go give Bobby Knight the business if he did that to your boy (yea right Erik Kuselias I am sure you would get physical with Knight, you windbag.)

Please stop, talk about the Red Sox’s spending more money than what the Pirates are worth just to start negotiations with a Japanese pitcher. Talk about Webb winning the Cy Young. How about the start of the NBA season? At this point I would almost rather hear more Ohio State vs. Michigan talk . . . on second though go ahead and keep talking about Knight.

CBS, I will tell ya where to shove your 3lbs.

CBS has been promoting the hell out of this show 3lbs, and I have to tell you, I am not watching. For that matter I am not watching new shows on CBS ever. I have talked about this on our podcast (Brothers in 3-Z: Episode 40). I have twice invested my time into “the best new show” only to have it ripped from the schedule 3 weeks later. Not this time CBS. I won’t be had again . . . you can’t fool me. I am wondering if 3lbs will even last 3 weeks.

Doogie is gay?!?! Yea I read that in the TV Guide at my mom’s house over the weekend. Who knew? Usually you can tell with these things, but to be honest, I had no clue. Maybe because I watch Neil Patrick Harris on “How I Met Your Mother” (yes the show is on CBS . . . I said no NEW shows) and he plays Barney, a “playa” (as my peeps would say) and obviously does a good job of acting. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, just that he fooled me.

SHUT UP!

This is the official SHUT UP blog.

First, to the fans and supporters of the Big XII who whined and said, “We deserve a team in the BCS championship game.” Uh . . . no. Texas is nowhere as good as everyone was saying they were and they still are that terrible team that lost to Ohio State in the beginning of the year.

To every person in America that said that Florida is the best one-loss team. I reserved judgment until I saw them play, well I saw the whole game on Saturday and you know what? There is NO WAY that they are the so-called best one-loss team in the country. As far as I am concerned they lost Saturday and in my mind have 2 losses.

Everyone affiliated with Auburn.

Cal. Maybe if you beat USC you can open your mouth again, but until then . . .

Ok I am done. Time for me to zip it.

Band full of Drunks

Did anyone see the Rutgers band performing the pregame on ESPN last night? They formed the letter "R" and I swear my three-year-old Owen could write a better-looking "R." Then later on they we supposed to be in lines for the team to come out onto the field and it looked more like 2 semi-straight lines and one bulge. I think some of the band was hitting the bottle before this game. Either that or they are just that bad. I will try to look for some pics and post them here.

Also, why does ESPN feel the need to have call-in guests during their Thursday night games? Last week it was Corso and this week Dickie V? Who the hell cares what Dickie V thinks about the Rutgers/Louisville game or the BCS. For that matter who cares what he thinks at all!! The man is a moron and has no business butting into my college football watching. I already have to deal with his annoying commentary during basketball season. Put a sock in it Dickie.

Louisville with a 9.45 dismount

Tonight Louisville will try to score 100 points against #16 Rutgers to try and prove that they are worthy of being the #3 team in the country. I can't say that I am against that either. In college football we have gotten to the point where "style points" count and you can no longer win a game, but you have to "be impressive." Especially now in the Big East, where no one respects you and no one believes that you are actually the #3 team in the country.

So tonight it should be interesting to see Louisville try to put up 100 and Rutgers to try and hang in there in the biggest game in their history.

In the Tank

I could see it coming, another loss for the Americans in the Ryder Cup. My brothers and I talked about the Ryder Cup on our last podcast and we wondered if Tiger could lead this team to victory. My brothers felt that he could, I was a little more pessimistic, and I proved to be right.

First to address Tiger. I firmly believe that in order to be a leader you have to at least have some of the basic traits and I am not sure that Tiger does to be an effective leader, especially in this situation, one that he is not accustomed to. Plus I am not sure how much of leader you can be on a golf team. In other team sports you can be a leader because you have others on the field with you to lead. In golf you can lead your twosome and that is about it. I believe the coach or captain has more of a leadership role/influence than any one player. This is all you need to know about Tiger's leading abilities . . . first hole, first day, first shot off the tee, Tiger goes in the water. What that told me, and I knew it at that moment, things weren't going to be different and that the Americans would struggle all weekend.


Now what's the overall problem? I don't know. Here are at least some observations:
1. The Euros were playing out of their minds. I saw at least 4 chip-ins to win holes on Saturday morning and they seemed to get all the breaks and make all of the shots they needed to. So first you have to credit the Euros with great play.

2. Secondly, the Americans made no shots. Every time the Americans had a chance to win a hole they couldn't get the ball to drop, or they opened the door for the Euros to walk through and they did.

3. No strong play from the "All-Stars." Tiger went 3-2, Phil went 0-4-1 and Furyk was 2-3-0, enough said. When guys like Scott Verplank, J.J. Henry and Zach Johnson are playing the best golf. You are in trouble.

4. The Euros have the better players overall that love this format and strive in this type of environment. Sergio is the perfect example put him paired with Tiger on the last round of any major tournament and he folds like a 2-7 hand in Texas Hold Em but place him anywhere near a Ryder Cup match and he is out of his mind going 4-0 over the weekend and overall is 14-3-2 in Ryder Cup.

The US team got thrashed. They all tanked as far as I am concerned. No one showed up and they should be embarrassed as a whole of their performance and their representation of the US. To me I am far more outraged over this loss than I am over the USA basketball team losing in the WBC. At least team USA basketball played hard and showed up. This US Ryder Cup team should be ashamed of their performance and US golf fans should be up in arms over such a lack luster and unmotivated performance from our players.

Take it Back

I want to weigh in on the Oklahoma/Oregon game briefly.

Now my brother Trent did a very good job of going over this in his “Bar Room Chatter” episode for our Brothers in 3-Z podcast, and this was before the fall out of everyone in Oklahoma from the Governor to the Owner of Haircuts by Bob on Sooner Avenue in Stillwater cried about making the game not count.

Excuse me? Not count? Seriously, people were saying this? I understood and heard the outrage from most broadcasters and commentators, but the silliest thing I have heard was that the game shouldn’t count. Come on! It’s not like in 3rd grade and the kick ball was called foul by your 75 year old farsighted recess teacher and you called “Do-over.” This is major college football and the notion to even float out there that this game somehow shouldn’t count is so ridicules that it is unbelievable to me that anyone would utter those words.

If we started to not count games that we thought there was poor officiating in, I might be the first in line to say that the Steelers shouldn’t have one the Super Bowl, or that the Dallas Mavericks got screwed in the NBA Finals . . . “Those games don’t count! Bad call, I want a do-over or I am going home.” Pout pout.

Everyone in Oklahoma, listen closely . . . . SHUT UP. You aren’t the first team to get screwed (and oh by the way, yea you still should have stopped them from scoring after the bad call), and you won’t be the last. So please quit your whining and go back to playing mediocre football in the 6th best conference in the country.

Owen Shorts

Owen was sitting on my lap as we were flipping through photos from his 3rd birthday. We get to the one above and I ask Owen, “Why are you not happy in this photo?”

He looks at me and says, “Because I don’t like that hat and I don’t like to wear it.”

Really? I couldn’t tell.

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Owen and I were eating burgers and fries and he had placed his hand in the ketchup and was “finger painting” his tray on his high chair. I gave him a look hoping he would stop.

“Daddy, are you happy or sad?”

“I am sad Owen, you aren’t supposed to play with your food.”

He looked at me, and I could tell he knew I wasn’t happy.

“You not happy Daddy?”

“No Owen I am not happy.”

Then with a smile and a charm he looked at me and said. “Come on Daddy, give me a smile.”

I had to walk into the next room so I could crack up silently.

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Owen is taking tumbling classes (not gymnastics, but tumbling classes). And at the end of the class they were playing Duck, Duck, Goose (which he has never played before).

Now Owen loves a little pretend as he is always pretending to be a cat or a dog or a character from TV, and so he seemed really interested in this game and watched very closely as the instructors tried to teach it.

The third person to be the “goose” was the instructor, and I knew they were going to pick Owen, so Renea and I were curious as to whether or not he would catch on with the game. She went around “duck, duck, duck.” Then she got to Owen . . . “Goose!” She tapped him on the head and started to run around the circle and he looked at her and said in all seriousness, “I am NOT a goose, I am a kitty.” And proceeded to crawl on all fours meowing and chasing after the instructor

Late, Late, Late Update on the All-Star Game

More Photos

There are many reasons this blog hasn't been updated in awhile, 1. been busy with everything else that life brings and 2. haven't been motivated to write and 3. A few weeks ago a friend of mine (who I work with) reminded me that anyone at my place of employment could read my blog and be offended by some of the things I have said about my job and my employeer, and since then I just haven't had the same desire to write as I once had. So anyway I am writing again and here is the final update from the All-Star game that happened over 2 months ago.

July 9th
I drove up to Morgantown and used my Dad’s place as a base for all my All Star operations. We looked at what would be the best ways into Pittsburgh with all of the traffic. We decided that taking the “T” from South Hills Village, which is about 15 miles north of Washington, into the city would be the best option. With that game plan set, I went to bed early and ready to start my All Star day.

July 10th
I drove to South Hills Village, found the train station, paid $2.25 to ride the train all the way into downtown Pittsburgh and was on my way. The train ride took about 30-40 minutes, but well worth the price. Got to downtown, headed down to the Convention Center. Went over to FanFest to spend the afternoon seeing things and doing things. The place was neat and there would have been a lot of fun stuff to do if I was a kid between the ages of 6-12, but for me there really wasn’t a lot for me to do. I don’t collect autographs so the collectable vendors weren’t for me and I was too old/too big to be jumping into batting cages and either throwing or hitting pitches. It was fun to watch other people, but even that got old after awhile.

After FanFest I went to my assigned work station with MLB Productions. I got to the room at the Hilton on time. My assigned time to work was from 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., so I knew there would be stuff going on since this was during the Home Run Derby so I was ready. I met two people from MLB (Shannon and Andrea) both very nice people. They informed me that they might not need me for that long this evening and I could sit down, grab a Gatorade, and they would let me know what my duties would be in a few.

After watching some Law and Order, they told me that they were going to “freshen up” and then head over to PNC Park and it would be great if I could answer the phones.

Sure, easy enough for me I can answer phones! They gave me a list of all MLB staff and if someone needed to call someone on that list I was to give them the correct number. I was on it . . . Secretary Ryan on duty!

I sat there for the next hour with a couple of MLB corporates who were checking e-mail and we all watched PTI. They soon left and it was just I manning the control center. About 6:00 p.m. the phone rings . . . I am “on.”

“MLB Productions.”

“Is this Ryan?”
“Yes. How can I help you?”

“Ryan, this is Shannon (from MLB) if no one is there by 6:30 p.m. you can you lock up the room and head out if you want.”

“Ok. You sure that is all?”

“Yep. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

So I knew this could only mean trouble for me. The Home Run Derby, I am 2 blocks and a bridge away from the stadium. I could get into an expensive night.

I left the office at 6:30 p.m. and walked over to PNC to see if I could scalp a Derby ticket. How bad could they be going for? $65? $75? Face value on these tickets was $125. Amazing for a home run derby, especially when the most fun to be had was outside the ballpark. So I tried to scalp some tickets outside the park, but they were all going for way too much (most were at $125) so I thought, take my $125 and head over to a bar and spend about $10 and be ahead $115. I walked over to SoHo, this neat bar across from PNC Park, met some new friends, and had a good time sitting there and chatting with them. I watched the derby on the flat screens, then headed back to the train and was in Morgantown by 2:00 a.m.

July 11th
All-Star Game Day! I was excited. I headed back up and took the train in again. Spent more time at FanFest (one day was definitely enough) and headed over to my shift again at the Hilton to work with MLB.

I get over there and they are getting things ready for the game and one of the MLB staff is Andrea (from the day before) and we chit-chat for a few. She tells me about life with MLB and how she can get tickets to any game in any city and that she hasn’t had a chance to see her beloved Mets yet this year because she has been too busy. It is a good friendly conversation and one I hope might turn into letting me hang out at the stadium during my volunteer time.

Andrea tells me that we need to take some equipment over to the stadium around 5:30 p.m. and that she (and other MLB employees) have been allotted some tickets to the game and she might have one for me. I try to play it cool and tell her, “Oh that would be nice.” And she tells me she isn’t sure; so don’t necessarily count on it. I nod and say that I understand. Andrea leaves and says she will be back soon and then we will head over to PNC.

At this moment I can’t pull my cell phone out of my pocket fast enough to call Renea to tell her that I have a real possibility of attending the All-Star game. Renea is excited, but she keeps me from getting my hopes up too much. I scramble to get off the phone; I don’t want Andrea to catch me telling someone I think I am going to the game.

So after a few minutes Andrea comes back. Her, a PA (high school student/volunteer) and myself start to carry bags of equipment over to the Park. We stop on the Clemente bridge and I take a picture for them of them standing on the bridge with the park in the background. We make small talk as we head over, Andrea telling me how Ryan Howard, the homerun derby champ was left at PNC park without a ride back to the hotel after the derby, and me telling her about my exciting 2 days at FanFest.

As we pass the Willie Stargell statute (where by-the-way, is where my brick from my 30th birthday resides, 7 bricks down from Willie’s left foot, check it out when you are there) Andrea pulls from her manila envelope a shiny All-Star Game ticket and hands it to me.

“You aren’t going to sell this are you?”

“No way.”

“Good cause MLB can trace this back to me if you sell it.”

“Nope I am going to use it, thank you.”

I am flipping out at this point but trying to maintain calm. I shove the ticket deep into my pocket so not to lose it. I help them all the way around the stadium to where the equipment needs to go, again thanking Andrea for her kindness, then walking away feeling like I have pulled the greatest con ever.

The game was great, if you watched it came down to the ninth inning and a blown save by Trevor Hoffman, and my seats were down the right field line (check the photo gallery). I had a great time and felt a little bad as I walked around the stadium looking at other volunteers that were working parking and taking tickets and knowing I was going to the game for a little more than 2 hours “work” and they weren’t, but I got over it quickly.

This will probably be the last time in my lifetime that the game will be in Pittsburgh and I am glad that I had the chance to participate in an experience I will never forget.

All-Star Update #3

Ok, so I headed to Pittsburgh yesterday with my acceptance letter in hand, I packed for 3 days figuring with my luck they would have me working Friday and Saturday and I would just stay up there for the 3 days. I made it to Pittsburgh in about 2.5 hours, parked over next to Heinz Field, and walked over to PNC for my meeting.

I have to mention as a side note, that the entire city is decked out and ready to host the All-Star game. Banners are hung; the bridges look great with banners, flags, and artwork. I was walking besides rows of port-a-johns and they were even being prepped with the All-Star vinyl stickers covering the whole john. The place is looking awesome. Anyway . . .

I enter the stadium and we get a packet with our schedules and when we are working. I am working with MLB Productions during the Home Run Derby on Monday night, and again during the game on Tuesday night. It should be fun. I am at the Hilton in downtown, so really my only worry is getting into and out of Pittsburgh. So we meet and they tell us to smile, and be friendly and that we are the “best of the best” (sure, right). They then break us into little groups, but for me there wasn’t a little group that I belonged to, so they had us move behind the dugout so that they could hand us out sheets on what we would be doing.

So they give me a sheet listing my “supervisor” and my duties, which are basically being an assistant, and tell me I can go get my “uniform.” I head back out to behind left field and get my goodie bag (which consisted of a water bottle, 2 free tickets to Fan Fest, a ticket voucher to a Pirates home game in September, a fanny pack, a decal, a button for me to write my name on, my id badge, lanyard, and very nice hat (See above). I then stood in line for a polo shirt, and then I was on my way. All done in 45 minutes.

I then called my friend Annamarie, who now lives in Pittsburgh, for help on how I can get in and out of Pittsburgh on Monday and Tuesday nights. She is currently looking up bus schedules and is supposed to call me this weekend.

I am excited and looking forward to this. I hope that I get to be involved in something exciting, plus the benefits of working with MLB can’t hurt. More updates to come.

All-Star Update #2: I’m In!

I received my letter yesterday from the Pirates letting me know that I have been accepted as a 2006 All-Star Ambassador Volunteer. I have to report to PNC Park on July 6th to get my assignment and to meet my volunteer supervisor, receive my free FanFest tickets, get my official “uniform” which I get to keep, and find out what the hell I will be doing. I am excited! Now is where the real fun begins . . . once I get my schedule, I could be up there for 4 straight days, or I could be one and done, so who knows, and if I am up there 4 straight days, what the hell do I do for a place to stay? My Dad lives in Morgantown, so I could stay with him and commute up every day, or I could slip an e-mail to a friend of mine who I used to coach basketball with and see if she minded me staying at her place . . . we will just have to wait and see. Whatever the arrangements, I will try my best to take a ton of photos and hopefully have a lot to share with everyone. Stay tuned.

Morons on the Golf Course

The other day I got a chance to play 18 holes of golf with my friend Tom. We knew they must have been running a special for Morons that afternoon cause they were all over the place.

First there was a two-some that were literally RUNNING to jump on the tee box in front of us so they could get off before we did. These 2 idiots are trying to catch up to the group in front of them, not so they can make a four-some, but so they can make a five-some . . . nothing like sitting behind 5 bad players all afternoon.

Then we were teeing off on #4, which is a long par 5 down a hill that runs parallel with #2 that goes up the same hill. I hit my drive out in the middle of the fairway and it rolls slightly into the rough to the right, between the #4 and #2. Tom hits his to the left so when we get to the fairway, he takes the cart and stays with his ball and I go look for mine. On problem, I can’t find it. Now I hate to lose balls anyway (especially if they are new like this one was) and I especially hate when I lose them in plain sight. Well coming up #2 was a two-some and they kept looking at me while I was looking for my ball and getting more disgusted by the minute. Tom hit (as the five-some cleared the green) and we both looked. Tom says, “I bet one of those guys picked up your ball.” I knew he was right, it had to be. So I jumped in the cart and flagged them down.

“Did you find a ball back there?” I asked the stupid redneck (he was a redneck cause he swiped my ball) with an orange t-shirt on.

“Yea, was it a Calloway?”

“Yes it is, did you pick it up?” Now I am getting disgusted, as I realize they did take it, watched me search for it, and still neglected to say anything.

He calls up to his equally redneckish buddy on the green who has my pilfered ball in his pocket, “Hey, that’s his ball. Throw it down.” So the guy chucks it down to me while his orange t-shirt wearing friend tries to explain.

“We found it back there on top of the hill.” I look at him with no expression just staring through him.

“We didn’t see anyone around.” This is the wrong answer.

“That’s because I was STILL ON THE TEE BOX!” At this point I knew I needed to get in the cart and drive away, cause the next step in this discussion was going to be me playing my 3 iron off his head.

As I drove away I heard . . . faintly, “Sorry.” Yea right, moron.

Next we catch up the five-some in front of us, just before they tee off on #6, do they let us play through? Nope. Morons.

Last thing, we were playing this short par 4 (#8) and we are just off the green and this ball lands not more than 15 yards from me, on the green, as I am lining up a putt. Tom runs to the front of the green in aggravated and throws his arms up in the air. The guy waves sorry then when they reach the green he apologizes to both of us. Now the problem I have is that he is obviously going for the green in one. So why not wait to make sure we are out of the way? Seriously, just wait even if you think the possibility is there of hitting us and go when we are done.

I also saw a guy playing without a shirt, a empty beer can thrown over the side of the hill next to the green, and so many diviots not replaced that you could have thought they were aerating the course.

(you would have thought all of this would have distracted me but I went 42-42 for an 84, I will take 5 strokes off for all I had to deal with and walk away with a 79. Sounds fair right?)

Summer Slow Down

Since all my shows shut down with the season finales and there haven’t been any new episodes I have gone into the Summer Slow Down with my TV watching. I have limited it to watching the Pirates and the one new show Windfall about a group of friends who win the lottery. I also have taken this time to start watching the 4400 on USA. I heard a few people talk about this show and so I was able to record a synopsis show that kinda brought you up to date as to what is happening (since I am jumping in on season 3) and I have to admit that I do like the show and will continue to watch.

Besides that and some PTI and some Y&R I am not that tied down to the TV and I have to admit that it is a nice feeling. I have only a few shows on the DVR that I need to get through, and when I say a few I mean 2 shows which is a big difference than the norm when there are usually 8-10 shows (way too many).

It is nice to not feel like I am missing something, or not keeping up-to-date on the latest and greatest shows and it is nice in the evenings to catch a baseball game (if you can stand to watch the Pirates blow lead after lead) or play a little PS2 and just let the day go.

I really like the quiet time between 9:00 and midnight, it is a nice time to just let your brain take a break and not worry about anything.

All-Star Update #1

Well this could be either a short-lived series of updates, or it could last through July and the All-Star game, depending on if I get picked to be an All-Star volunteer.

I attended a mandatory meeting on Friday at PNC park where we got envelopes that had our work schedules in it, then we sat in the stands and watched a video on the jumbotron about the 2005 All-Star game in Detroit and then we had a woman from MLB and a woman from the Pittsburgh Pirates H.R. Department (who by the way was a little too “gung-ho” for me and most of the crowd there.) We were informed that there have been over 3,500 people sign up to be volunteers and they only need about 1,600 and that we may not all be chosen. This worried me a little since I don’t live in Pittsburgh and I could be one of the first ones cut, but I left the work schedule wide-open so I could be available any time so that could be a plus for me.

After our little talk, we were instructed to go back in the same line we were in for our envelopes and give the workers our schedules and they would then ask us 5 short questions and we could then be on our way. Being in the U-Z line is an advantage as I was the second person to have my “interview” and after driving for 3 hours and getting there at 11:30 a.m. and meeting at noon, by 1:15 p.m. I was done. They said they will send us letters in the mail over the next 2 weeks letting us know if we made the cut or not, so I hope that I can continue on in the process or All-Star Update #2 might be the last update.

“Honey Bunny”

Owen uses this phrase a lot, and Renea nor I can figure out where this came from and what it means. It seems to be a catch-all for Owen and whenever he seems to be at a loss for words or just wants to be clowning around he says “Honey Bunny.” So tonight in the car on our way to get a Roast Beef sandwich from Arby’s for dinner (which I called a “Honey Bunny” sandwich so he would eat it, and it included special Hunny Bunny fries and Hunny Bunny juice) I decided to ask Owen what a Hunny Bunny looks like. Here is the conversation.

“So Owen, what does a Hunny Bunny look like?”

“It has feet . . . legs . . . arms . . . a pee-pee . . . and a bum.”

Renea asks, “Does it have a head?”

“Yes a head too, and ears, and a pee-pee and a bum.”


Well I am glad and now know what one looks like, and now you know too, so if you see one in your neighborhood, call the police, and don’t try to order the Hunny Bunny Combo at Arby’s they have no idea what that means.

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Off to All-Star orientation tomorrow, I will blog about that on Saturday. Will be away from a computer tomorrow.

Bloggin Back where I belong

Ok, ok I am trying to get back into the blog swing of things. I know it has been awhile but I will try to keep a better vigil with the blog.

About a week ago, Owen and I had a chance to spend 4 days with each other, and those 4 days were fun, but also a tad bit exhausting. I had to take Owen to my office two of the days and the other two days we spent hanging out. Here are some things I learned over those days:

• I am pretty sure Owen will be a lady killer. The boy can pick good-looking women out, and I am surprised about how forward he is, he will grab their hand pull them the way he wants to go and says “Come play with me.” I should have used this approach to pick up women when I was younger.

• Paperclips, and lots of them, are a good way to entertain a 2 year old. He’s old enough to know not to eat them, and young enough to not be bored within 30 seconds.

• Putt-Putt golf is definitely for kids 4 and over. A 2 year old only wants to test the physics of the ball on a lumpy putting surface.

• Owen is attached to all kinds of balls, and would not throw his ball in the hole on the 18th green. After seeing my ball disappear down a tube at the bottom of the hole, Owen declared, “No throw my ball in the tuba!”

• Telling your son to be quiet as you hustle out of the putt-putt area with a pilfered blue putt-putt golf ball may not be a good thing to teach your son.

• Don’t force food. When he/she is hungry they will eat.

• Do take advantage of places that will feed your kid for free. This helps with the last one, cause if your kid doesn’t eat the free stuff then you don’t feel like pushing him to eat it in fear of wasting it.

• The pet store to a 2 year old is just as good as any zoo.

• An umbrella and hose are fun for hours in the back yard on a sunny warm day.

• Owen discovered sweat for the first time, and asked me, “Daddy, why is my hair wet?” and that was the biggest thing I learned over those 4 days . . . that everything can be a new experience for children and some of the basic things we know are sometimes brand new to them.

Out of Context

I was driving home the other day and I heard someone on ESPNRadio read the comments Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker Joey Porter made about going to see the president. I sat there in my car cringing at every word read from Porter. . .

“Yeah, I got something to say to Bush, I’m going to have a swagger when I walk in there, too," Porter said, laughing loudly. "I’m looking forward to it. I have something to tell him, too. I don’t like the way things are running right now. I feel like he has to give me some of my money back, so I got something to tell Bush."

Ok this is bad I am thinking as the ESPN host is roasting Joey Porter mocking his use of the English language, his lack of respect for the office of the president, and his generally cocky attitude. I am thinking this is what we get. You win a Super Bowl and stuff like this is publicized, man what was he thinking? What a dumbass.

Well I had read today that Porter backed off his comments and said he was kidding, and I thought, “PR move by the Steelers.” Seems like they are catching hell and need to say something so the normal “my comments were taken out of context,” is applied.

Then tonight on Fox Sports I actually hear and see Joey Porter say the comments he made to the press initially and I have to say most of the media in the US owes Joey Porter an apology.

Yea he made those comments, but it wasn’t in the normal locker room trash talk style we are accustomed to hearing from Porter. It was him talking with local reporters, most of them the beat writers for the Steelers and he was JOKING AROUND. It was clear from the video that Porter was in no way being serious. He wasn’t pointing his finger at the camera and doing his best Hulk Hogan. He was laughing and joking like you do with friends. Like I would have done and most of us would have done with our buddies and if we had plans to meet the president.

Somewhere the tone, the feel, the ambiance of the situation was lost and people just pulled the quote and read it. Was he disrespectful to the office of the President? Yea sure, but not nearly as much as he was made out to be by the media and the ESPN personality who didn’t do his homework to find out what Joey was really saying.

I guess that is where the disappointment lies, with the media and how they took something so small and insignificant and turned it into a matter of national security. My questions is how many other times have I been duped into believing what a broadcaster on ESPN is saying when he or she hasn’t done the research themselves to find out what truly was said?

Wrong

Since when has the word “Stripper” not been allowed on the radio? There is this song out that is called “I’m in love with a stripper” but the version on my iPod (yes that song is on my iPod) and the version on the local radio station is different. What is different is that instead of stripper, they say dancer. What? What happened to stripper? You can’t say stripper anymore? When did this happen? Why wasn’t I notified? Where was my e-mail regarding this matter? Were strippers offended they were being called strippers? It isn’t used in a derogatory tone, he’s “in love” with a stripper. It’s a good thing.
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On my way to work out this morning, I passed 2 women walking and they were dressed like they were on a “working out” type of walk, now the funny thing was that one of the women was smoking. What? You are motivated to get up at 6:30 a.m. and walk, but you can’t put the cigarette down? Well at least her legs will be in shape.
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Jetta ad? Seen it? If you have to think about it you probably haven’t. It is about as realistic as it gets. It shows people getting into violent car wrecks and being able to walk away due to the safety features in the car. Now I don’t know about you, but I like my commercials warm and fuzzy, with dancing pieces of a Whopper and talking lizards and Mexican dogs. Not car wrecks that make me pee myself. Not fun Volkswagon!

Plus/Minus 4/11/06

+
Beautiful day. The weather was perfect. Completed my resume for a position in Pittsburgh. Hope to get outta here.

–
Lack of respect.

Plus/Minus 4/6/06

+
Intramural Volleyball team win.
285 pages worth of changes made to the College catalog.
Workout in with sprint work without any knee pain.
Over 30 subscribers to the Brothers in 3-Z podcast!
Owen's smile

–
Dealing with idiots.
Not having time to get a good blog up and being behind in updating it.
General lack of feeling appreciated at my job.
Ordering "Large" basketball shorts and having them come over my knee and look more like knickers than shorts

Plus/Minus

+ Today I finally started to make a dent into the Visual Identity Guidelines that I am writing for the College. Got a good workout in without a knee or ankle hurting for no reason. New Brothers in 3-Z podcast is up. Great job Trent.

– Reading the WVU message boards I realize how much of a bunch of whiners WVU fans sound sometimes. It is depressing to go there. I mean all the University has done over the past year in the 2 major sports is go to 2 Sweet Sixteens and win a Sugar Bowl, but you go there and people are whining about football recruiting, and where is John Beilein going? I can see how other schools fans hate us, all we do is complain.

Basketball all over the place

So the first round of the NCAA tournament is over. It was an exciting round, and a ton of good basketball games.

My tournament started at Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW) in Parkersburg, which is different than the past 6 years when we watched the tournament at Damon’s here in Marietta. Now I was wondering how this experience would go, because as long as I have been taking the first 2 days of the tournament off to watch games, no place has gotten the whole routine of getting the maximum amount of games on their TV’s correct. Well this was no exception.

I had reserved the “back room” at BWW for the first 2 days of the tournament, but I also knew that we would have a smaller amount of people join us the first day. Well it was Tom and I the first day and we had 2 other people who we knew were coming out, and we felt that since I hadn’t paid a reservation fee for the 2 days (a bonus move by the GM at BWW) we should take up the room for just 3-4 people.

That move was stupid. We sat in the main dining room and for the first 45-60 minutes we were forced to watch one game on 4 TV’s, and spent the rest of the time trying to get the others changed. At one point Renea called me and I asked her how many games did she get at home, and she had 2 different games on our 2 different CBS stations. I was sitting at a so-called sports bar and was worse off than I would have been at home. Pathetic.

So anyway we finally moved to the “bar area” later in the day, in time for the second round of games and got to have 3 TV’s in front of us with different games, and over our shoulder behind us we got the fourth game, so that wasn’t so bad. I don’t mind having to swivel and turn to catch another game, because most of the time I am just happy that I have access to all of the games.

So needless to say Thursday was not a very good day. This seems to be typical with a rookie bar hosting a lot of people for the first time on a March Madness weekend. Too few servers on duty, the TV’s not properly calibrated, and a general feeling like they had no idea that people would be there to watch basketball.

Friday was the exact opposite. We got and used the “back room” the server (which was a male and understood the TV’s and the fact that we wanted a different game on every TV) was excellent. The back room had 4 TV’s and each was on a different game, and if it wasn’t he made sure it was. When we got there it took about 3 minutes to get our drinks and another 5 for him to take our order. It could have been the best set-up ever to watch games. The only thing that could have been better was the set up of the room. It was a long room and the TV’s were spread through out and were hanging from the ceiling, and the chairs (for a 5 hour afternoon) were a little uncomfortable after 3 hours. But you could stand up, walk around the room, and hold conversations with other people with out yelling. It was a great setup and even if I had had to pay the $20 reservation fee I would have done it in a second. It was worth it.

Duke

I read my brother Adam’s blog today and it got me thinking why do I like Duke as much as he and most of the college basketball community apparently hates them.

I am slowly realizing that I am in the minority of fans that like Duke. And definitely in the Zundell family and among my friends I am the only one that cares for the Blue Devils.

I met Coach K once and heard him speak at a coaching conference in Cleveland, and I have read his books, (which if you coach a sport you have to read). I like Duke because I realize that that is what college basketball is all about. Playing hard, playing with passion, playing with a terrific understanding of the fundamentals, playing as a team. All of those things, as a former player and coach, I respect and understand how hard they are to come by and put together.

Does ESPN’s love for them annoy you? YES it annoys the hell out of me. Does Dickie V’s apparent man crush on J.J. Redick Coach K, and any Duke player for that matter make you want to puke? YES. Are some of their players annoying? Of course, but you know what? You would LOVE them if they were on your team. Who wouldn’t want a J.J. Redick, or Sheldon Williams, Shane Battier, or Grant Hill on their team? You would LOVE it if your team played with that passion and desire every game, and who wouldn’t give whatever it took to get a Coach K clone (this is why his assistants are always in the running for head coaching jobs)? Who wouldn’t want the crowds, the atmosphere, and the tradition of Duke?

If you have ever been successful, you have been hated, and if you have been lucky enough to be hated (yes I just said that and you know what I am talking about), then you remember that feeling and how much you loved it. They hated you because you were good, you were the best, and you beat them often. That is what it is like to be Duke. They are hated because they are good. It’s that simple.

So hate them. Root against them. Wish for their players to break arms and legs while going in for a layup. Laugh at their Crazies, traditions, coaches, and the tents outside Cameron. They love it.

Truth is, we all wish to be that good and that hated.

Plus/Minus Today

+ I entered my picks on many web sites in an attempt to win large prizes and enormous amounts of cash. Also I am now happy that Arby’s is serving 100% all natural chicken. (I just want to know what did they serve before?)

– Cold as crap today, how in the hell does it go from being 80º on one day and then 30º the next. I hate the weather here.

Bed-Time Blues

I know I have wrote before about The Adventure of Owen in Sleeping, so I will continue with an update on the progress.

Well it’s not going well . . . he continues to throw a grade A class hissy fit when we leave him in is room at bedtime. It’s more that he is calling for “MOMMMMMMIE” than anything else. He wants Renea to lay in the room with him until he falls asleep.

Now he’s not dumb, he knows that Renea is not coming back after we say our goodbyes, but he is VERY persistent. He knows (based on the previous 28 months of his life) that if he cries loud enough and long enough Renea will give in and come back up to lay with him.

Now we have been doing this new way of laying him down for about 2-3 weeks, letting him throw a fit and hoping that he realizes that we won’t give into him. You would think that after all of this time he would start to realize that it’s not working, the screaming, the jumping up and down in the crib, and even the crying isn’t resulting in the desired outcome, which is having Renea come in and lay on the floor until he falls asleep.

The thing I keep hoping about this behavior/personality trait is he will be a one-track mind, nose to the grindstone, hard working, persistent, S.O.B. when he gets older. At least that is what I keep telling myself as the screaming and crying continues.

Theory Time

After writing my blog yesterday about the WVU women’s basketball game against UConn I was reminded of a theory I have about women’s college basketball in general.

I theorize that you can take the NCAA Division III women’s national champions and pit them against a Division I women’s team ranked between number 5 and lower (by lower I mean 6, 7, 8 etc.) and I think it would be a very competitive game, and it might even be a win for the D-III team.

The difference between the great D-I players and the great D-III players is not as big of a gap as you may think, certainly not as wide as on the men’s side. See, the best of the best high school players all go to a handful of D-I programs, like UConn and Tennessee, and the rest of the programs in the country get good players but not the huge difference makers like the elite programs, and the difference between the quality player at a middle of the rankings D-I program and an elite D-III program is not that great.

Now I am not saying that any D-III program can beat a D-I program, far from it, I know how bad some D-III teams can be, but I have also coached against the D-III national champions and I have witnessed the type of well run offenses and accurate shooting that would allow a D-III team to compete with a D-I program.

The biggest problem the D-III school would have would be guarding the post of a D-I team. 6’6” girls don’t go to D-III schools, and the match-ups in the post would be the biggest problem. Guard wise and forward wise it would be pretty close, and the post problem could be solved with the implementation of a zone, rather than leaving the post players one-on-one.

Offensively, a great shooting D-III team would/should be fine on the offensive end of the floor, a motion offense, or something that would pull the post out from the basket would work well and would free up the middle of the floor for cuts to the basket.

All in all the difference is not that great, and on the right night I really feel that it could be a pretty good match-up. Now lately the big talent is starting to go to other schools (like Duke, UNC, Maryland, Ohio State and Rutgers) so more teams are competitive at a high level, and soon I believe that my theory will have no merit as more good players go to more teams, but as of right now I still believe in my theory . . . now if there was any way I could prove it.

Bleeack

My wife Renea is sick. She has some sort of flu, with body aches, a cough, and a sore throat, and by the looks of her I hope that Owen and I aren’t the next ones to suffer from this sickness. Now the bad thing that never occurred to me until later today, is that I have a real shot at getting this next.

Why did I not think of that until now? Well, it might have been the 10+ previous years where out of all the times she has gotten sick, I maybe have turned around and caught exactly what she had between 8-12 times. Not bad for 10+ years of marriage. (I guess that doesn’t say much about how close we are.) I don’t get sick very often, and when I do it is usually a day or so. I just don’t ever see myself as sick, nor do I do things to prevent me from getting the sickness, I just hope I haven’t screwed myself on this one, cause the way she is acting, it’s a doozie.

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Going along with the sick theme, I watched, what I could bear to look at, the WVU women vs. UConn in the Big East Championship game. If there has been an uglier game played . . . I have seen it, I helped coach the Marietta College women’s team a few years ago, and so with ugly basketball I am an expert. The game had no flow, WVU has this center that when she touched the ball in the paint she didn’t miss, so of course they never gave her the ball on the low post, noooo that would make way too much sense. It was poorly coached, poorly officiated, and poorly played. It was like watching a car wreck in progress, you know what is going to happen, but you can’t look away, but I did manage to watch a taped 24 while the game played in the little corner of the screen with my picture in picture, I felt, as a Mountaineer that I was obligated to watch the game, I just feel it didn’t warrant big screen consideration.

But you have to see it again

This line has been used on me many times over the past few months about bad movies, or should I say movies I think are bad and that people think I need to view a second time to truly appreciate how they go from a crap film to Oscar nominated in that second viewing.

I am of the opinion that if a movie sucks the first time you see it then it will suck the second time you see it. Believe me, I don’t need to see Napoleon Dynamite again to know how bad it is. What am I going to learn from watching it a second time? Unless under some sort of influence things that weren’t funny the first time are still not going to be funny the second time.

Why would I ever watch a movie that I hated the first time again? Why? No there is no good answer to that. There is no way, just for the fun of it, that I would ever sit and watch Donny Darko, Anchorman, or Cry Baby again. Never. These movies had a shot the first time I wasted 2 hours on them, and to me, they didn’t warrant a second chance. People get second chances, restaurants get second chances, movies . . . no.

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Kirby Puckett passed away today at age 45. One of the best baseball names of all time, Kirby Puckett. Can't get a better baseball name than that.

I wasn’t a big Puckett fan, although he played the game with passion and enthusiasm. All I remember is that 1991 World Series against the Braves and games 6 and 7, bringing the Twins back to beat the Braves. I was a Twins fan that year.

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Did anyone notice that the winners of the Oscars for best male (Philip Seymour Hoffman for portraying Truman Capote) and female (Reese Witherspoon for playing June Carter) were portraying real people. Is this acting or just impersonating? I don’t know for sure. Are we more impressed because they got these people right rather than someone portraying an original character?

Don’t you wish some days . . .

there was no one around that you have to talk to.

you got paid what you were worth, just for that day.

you didn’t have to deal with morons.

that it was 85 and sunny instead of 35 and rainy.

that everything that is “cluttering your life” was gone.

that you were on vacation at a beach somewhere drinking a tropical, alcohol filled drink, rather than sitting at a desk.

that you could work on one project start to finish, without interruptions.

that the people that really irritate you would not come by the office today.

that you could spend the whole day with your son in the park.

that you could spend a whole evening with your wife, just catching up, eating wings and drinking your favorite beer.

that you were 6’4” instead of a generous 5’9”.

that your metabolism never slowed down and was still working at a 20 year olds’ pace.

that if you had facebook.com and myspace.com when you were in high school and college so that you wouldn’t have lost touch with so many of your old friends.

that you could win the lottery and buy that Slurpee machine you always wanted.

that every Friday was “Play 18 holes of golf” day.

that the lawn mowed its’ self.

that you actually knew what was wrong with your car and you could fix it yourself.

that someone would say “thank you” for a project that you did for them at the last minute.

that instead of telling you what’s wrong with them, once they would ask you how you are doing.

that you and your brothers all lived in the same town again.

that you had your 1978 hairstyle back.

that you knew what the future holds.

that you could stay home all day and play video games.

that your blog was always this easy to write.

Reality Check

“Sources close to the situation told The Star on Monday that Missouri's coaching wish list includes a wide range of candidates, including Alabama-Birmingham's Mike Anderson, Memphis' John Calipari and West Virginia's John Beilein. Texas A&M's Billy Gillispie and Marquette's Tom Crean have also been mentioned.”
- Kansas City Star

I came across this little tid bit on SI.com the other day under an article entitled Truth & Rumors: Feb. 28, 2006 now let’s try to straighten things out here for the Mizzou if we can.

Missouri needs to understand where they are in the pecking order of finding a coach before they can throw out a wish list like this. I mean, seriously guys. It would be like me saying, the candidates to play music for Owen’s next birthday party are the Barenaked Ladies, U2, Kelly Clarkson, and Kanye West . . . not going to happen.

First of all it’s Missouri. Missouri. Do you think of Missouri when you think great basketball programs right now? Do you think of anyone in the Big 12 besides Texas and Oklahoma as decent basketball programs?

Missouri’s records over the past 3 seasons:
2005-06 (4-10, 11-14)
2004-05 (7-9, 16-17)
2003-04 (9-7, 16-14)

Missouri went a combined 20-26 in the past three years, IN THE BIG 12. Big 12, come on Missouri, get your head out of your ass. You can’t bring in the likes of John Calipari, John Beilein and Tom Crean. Do you honestly think that these guys would leave their programs for Missouri?

In basketball, more than most other sports, when you can build a program and win consistently there usually isn’t a reason to move, especially when it is a step down. Memphis to Missouri, step down. WVU to Missouri, step down. Marquette to Missouri, step down. Now look at the other names on the list. Texas A&M to Missouri, maybe a slight step up. Alabama-Birmingham to Missouri, probably a step up. Those are the guys Missouri needs to focus on. Those are the ones that will/might take the job. If you are Missouri’s AD you need to be looking at those assistant coaches at the D-I level that are hot right now, and the head coaches that are at smaller schools that want to make that jump up to a larger D-I program.

It just aggravates me to see programs essentially try to date out of their league. Virginia did that last season with Tubby Smith. Come on Missouri, realize that you are Don Johnson and look for someone like Lisa Rinna to date rather than shooting for Selma Hayek. You are freakin Missouri, remember that.

Senior Night

Just finished up watching WVU beat Pitt and five seniors making their last appearance in the Colisium.

Kevin Pittsnogle, Patrick Beilein, Joe Herber, J.D. Collins, and transfer Mike Gansey all have represented WVU well. I really have to admit that when the Pittsnogle, Beilein, Herber and Collins first made their starts as freshmen I was sure none of them would be starting today as seniors. I really felt that Coach Beilein would recruit more talented players and most, if not all of these players would be role players (at best).

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Knowing what I know now, I can see the method to John Beilein’s madness. He rooted out the bad seeds and players not willing to play within his system, a la Drew Schifino, and NY player of the year Tyler Relph and kept the basketball smart players that could pick up on his style of offense.

I sometimes wish now I could do over my career and coach basketball. It seems like such a simple game now that I have watched WVU over the past 4 seasons under Beilein. If ever there was a style of offensive basketball that is as much fun to play as it is difficult to learn, it is this style. It takes teamwork and commitment from everyone on the floor. You have to anticipate the moves that your teammates make as they make their cuts to and away from the basket, you must shoot the ball effectively, and take care of each possession.

It has been so much fun watching this team compete over the past 4 seasons, and it will be hard to watch next year when we take a slight step back as new Mountaineers step in, but hopefully we will be watching this team play about 10 more games, then it would be much easier to let them go.

Ny Nude Son

I usually, come home for lunch between 12:30 and 1:30 so I get to see Owen for about 30 minutes before he takes his nap. Today Renea put Owen down about 1:00 and of course he didn’t fall asleep for awhile, but Renea and I were listening to him over the monitor.

It was a bright day today with a few clouds outside, and Owen’s room is fairly bright when the sun is out. Well Owen was up in his room just talking to himself and all of a sudden a cloud passes in front of the sun causing it to be less bright then it was before that. Over the monitor, we hear Owen call out, “Hey! Who turned the lights out?” Renea and I both lose it laughing cause we know exactly what he is talking about.

I go back to work and I get a call about 2:00 and it’s Renea and she relays this story to me.

She continues to listen to the monitor for Owen to go to sleep. She hears some grunting over the monitor. Now I have to tell you that over the past few weeks Owen has been taking his clothes off and we even caught him asleep in his bed one night with a PJ top on, socks and no bottoms and no diaper. So anyway, she listens some more then hears Owen say, “Much better. Ahhhhhhh. Naked Baby.”

Renea heads up the stairs, and with his shirt, pants, and diaper off, is our “Naked Baby” ready and comfortable for his nap.

Sleeping Chunks

Ever cried so much you threw up? I didn’t think so, but I just witnessed it tonight, not me personally, but from Owen.

You see, we have been trying to put Owen to bed without having to stay in the room with him until he falls asleep. So the last two nights have been difficult, but not as bad as tonight.

We put Owen to bed, started to walk out and then “Nice and Gentle Owen” turned into the “Nancy Kerrigan hit in the knee Owen” he was screaming “NOOOOO, WHYYYYY, WHYYYY ME!” Ok he didn’t say “WHY ME,” but he definitely threw a fit. Bouncing up and down crying, losing his breath then gagging then puking.

Great! Just what I wanted to do at 9:15 at night. Change his bed. Awesome!

So now Owen is laying in his bed, still crying, and I am hoping and praying I don’t have to change sheets again.

This is a stage I can't wait until we get past.

Mountain Low

For those of you who aren't basketball fans click away to another blog. HA HA, who am I kidding you all are basketball fans, cause the only people reading this blog are family members . . . So anyway I can't criticize WVU's basketball team too much, but tonight I wanted to pick the TV up and throw it across the room. So here is a rant on WVU vs. Syracuse:

Why did we stand and look at the Syracuse players in their zone like we had never seen one of these before? I swear I read J.D. Collins' lips and he said, "What the hell do we do?"

We NEVER penetrated the zone to score, we always looked to pass first, "Hello? Anyone on this team want to take a shot that is NOT behind the three-point line?"

Our interior defense stinks. It stinks. If they caught the ball in the paint they scored. Either an aggressive take to the hoop, or a dunk, but they scored every damn time, and we still refuse to play in front on the post. Sidenote: I can't understand, for the life of me, why we don't front in the post. It puts pressure on the passer to make an excellent lob over not only the defensive man in the post, but over his own man, and with the proper backside help that pass should only result in a positive play maybe once a game.

I am not sure how John Beilein kept his cool and not throw a fit on the sidelines. If that was my team standing around on the offensive end of the floor I would have ripped someone's head off.

Why wasn't Darris Nichols in the game late? J.D. Collins looked so scared I thought he was going to pee his shorts. He didn't want to take the ball to the hoop, he didn't want to shoot it, and he had no idea what they were trying to do when they had the ball for the last shot. Sidenote: For all the praise he receives from the WVU broadcast team, J.D. is a liability late in any ball game, he can'tdrive to the hoop, he can't make an outside jumps shot even if you left him wide open (see UConn game) and apparently he loses all command of the offense late in a game.

I am not a "sky is falling" type of guy, and if I am frustrated by the play tonight then I know the team is, but everyone knew this was going to be a tough stretch and the Big East is a very tought conference, but I don't like the play I am seeing from this team. Hopefully come Big East tourney time they will be ready, because they aren't going to sneak up on anyone this tourney time.

Ramblings

Just a few thoughts on this Thursday:

The Arizona Cardinals added to their long line of great personnel moves by signing 34 year old Kurt Warner to a three-year contract on Tuesday. Nice move Cardinals, Deion Sanders is a free agent now, would you like to add him as your new starting cornerback?

I love these coaches that resign/take a leave of absence/quit their jobs in the middle of the season. Nice message to send to your players that look up to you. . . “When it gets tough kids, quit.” Take a lesson from my parents who said I could quit after a season was over and not return the next year, but never quit in the middle of the season. One of the best lessons I was ever taught.

A former Escambia County (PENSACOLA, Fla.) middle school gym teacher allegedly let children pay a $1 a day bribe to skip gym class turned himself in Thursday. Now that guy is an entrepreneur. I wouldn’t pay a $1 to skip gym class (cause that is about all I was good at) but I easily would have put down a 5 spot to get out of Trig.

“It is what it is.” I have heard this quote 1,000 times the past few weeks. Yes we all know ‘it is what it is’ when is it ever ‘it is what it isn’t?’ One of my new pet peeves, like nails on a chalkboard.

Michael Bay is gearing up to remake "Friday the 13th" for New Line Cinema. Um, yea, excuse me, but haven’t the last 200 Friday the 13th movies been remakes of the first? People having a good time, Jason killing people, someone thinks they kill Jason, movie over. About sums it up huh?

Baby Jessica and Me

Yesterday I decided that it was warm enough to wash my car and that I would take it through the "touchless" car wash. So I headed back to the office early after my lunch break and I went to this place on what is considered the west side of Marietta, put in my $6 and pulled into the car wash stall.

Now the touchless carwash stall is basically a garage. It has a door when you pull into the stall and a door where you pull out. As your car is being washed both doors are shut, and I the reason for that, I am guessing, so that it keeps all of the water in the stall.

So I sit there as my car is being washed and then the process it complete and the garage door in front of me is supposed to open, I pull out and have a nice clean car. Nice in theory.

Once the car is washed I sit there waiting for the door to open. Waiting. Waiting. The door doesn’t open. I look behind me and the garage door behind me is closed, and it is one of those transparent doors and I can see someone waiting behind me.

So I think, maybe I need to pull forward to activate the door. So I pull forward. Door doesn’t open. Then I think I need to back up then pull forward again. Well I do that, not knowing that the person behind me put their money in for their wash well my car then activates the car wash again. By this time the woman in line behind me drives away.

My car is being washed for a second time, and I realize that I might be stuck here forever. Thoughts go through my head like, “I am going to have to call Renea, she is going to have to call the people who operate the car wash, they are going to have to break down the door to get me out. Baby Jessica gets caught in a well and I get caught in an automatic touchless car wash.”

Then I think/hope that the washing will have to stop and there must be a way to open the doors from the inside. When the second car wash is over I get out of my car, step around the nozzles with water still coming out and see on the wall in front of me a button that says “Emergency Door Open.”

Aahh! I am saved. I hit the button. Nothing.

Stupid emergency door open. Then I look behind me and see buttons on the wall for the back door. I also see that the woman that I thought had abandoned me, to leave me to die in this automatic car wash, had returned. I go hit the buttons on the back doors and the back door opened.

WHEW! I thought I was a goner there for a second. The woman next in line tells me that she talked to the people at the adjacent gas station (that I suppose run the car wash) and they said that I should have left my car still and the doors would open.

Uh huh. Right, like I didn’t try that. Whatever lady, you left me here to die.

She tells me that she will move and I can back out and tell “them” (whoever “them” is) what happened.

I am not telling “them” what happened, who cares about “them.” I have just suffered a traumatic experience. Screw “them.”

So I head back to my car to pull out, and then the front door opens. Yea I guess after a five minute waiting period the door finally does open. NICE.

I relay this story to Renea, and how I almost had to call her to get me removed from the car wash and she can’t stop laughing. Plus when I come home from work she is singing “Working at the Car Wash.”

Don’t you just love sympathy?

I bet Baby Jessica never had to deal with that kind of ridicule.

Keeping Up with the Zundells

This past weekend I visited my brother Adam and sister in-law Kelly. Adam invites me (or I invite myself) over each year for the Duke/Maryland basketball game. Luckily I looked ahead at the WVU schedule and realized that I could do the Duke/MD game on Saturday and pull the WVU/Georgetown game on Sunday as well.

Kelly and Adam were very good hosts and were nice to let me stay at their house for what amounted to 3 nights and almost 4 days. We were involved in a Winter Wonderland that was as much of a Winter Wonderland as predicted.

Duke vs. Maryland was a good game, better and closer than I though it would be. I am always impressed by the support and the facilities at Maryland. If the Comcast Center isn't the top basketball facility in the country then I want to see the place that is. It is top notch, and reminds me of a professional arena. J.J. Redick displayed why he is a candidate for the Player of the Year, although watch him play defense a few series and I contend that he could be the worst defensive player to win that award. He is out of postion about half the time. The other observation I made was that Maryland ran the flex offense. Now the flex offense is the greatest pattern offense in all of time. Everyone has run flex at one time or another in their life so you would think that Duke of all people would be able to defend the flex, but nope, Maryland got a few good looks and a few points from this offense. Crazy.

Due to snow complications we couldn't meet up with my other brother Trent and his wife Rachael. So Adam, Kelly and I ate at ribs place where the ribs were excellent and Yueling was on tap . . . it was definately a watch.

Sunday we woke to no power due to the Winter Wonderland, but no problem, after figuring out how to light the stove, Adam was cooking pancakes to keep us warm.

Sunday night brought the WVU/Georgetown game and I was lucky enough to be able to go with Trent's friend Dan and sit in a box with Dan, Trent, Rachael and my buddy Dave, after Adam had worked the phones to get us tickets to the game. It was a team effort by Trent and Adam to get me into the game after I kinda came up with the idea and really pushed it onto everyone else. A WVU win spelled a good time for all.

Headed back earlier today, had to stop at the Nike outlet in Hagerstown. It is a manditory stop. Overall had a very good weekend and if it hadn't been for my hosts Adam and Kelly, and my ticket broker Trent, it would have just been me stuck in a Winter Wonderland.

Monday Riff

I don't want to call this a rant, nor do I want to call it general observations, so to steal a little phrase from a radio personality I will call this the riff (and yes this is how I am spelling it):

It is obvious that the NFC is the weaker of the two divisions after watching this past weekend playoff games.

If I had a $100 extra dollars I would bet it all on the Carolina Panthers to cover the +4 they are getting against Seattle this weekend.

I have seen some games that have been poorly officiated, but the Steelers vs. Colts might have been the worst officiated game I have ever seen, and it wasn't the amount of bad calls, because there really weren't a lot of them, just the ones that were made were so horrible that they have no equal.

When WVU's basketball team is hitting shots like they did against Marquette, NO ONE, and that means #1 Duke, #2 Florida, and #9 Pitt, can beat them.

I noticed that Maryland's basketball team cracked the top 25, now I could care less about basketball rankings, as they count for nothing, but for a team that has lost to every ranked team they have played (except for BC), they are getting a lot of respect from both the AP writers and coaches.

The last five minutes of the Steelers game was the craziest five minutes I have ever witnessed. I hurt my hand when the ref came back with his instant replay decision, I about had a nervous break down when the Bus fumbled and then a heart attack when the Colts missed their field goal attempt.

The Washington Redskins are not a playoff caliber team.

For some reason I don't remember the same talk about how the Steelers blew it last year when they lost after going 15-1 in the regular season like they are talking all about the Colts now.

The Sleep Negotiator

My two-year old Owen is getting good at the manipulation game, especially as it pertains to going to sleep. He knows how to play his mother and for a certain amount of time he knew how to play me, then I realized the key to getting him to do what you want him to do, and it's the same advice for buying a new car . . . be willing to walk away.

Owen thinks he needs to stall with a series of ploys, first he won't lay down, then he won't let you cover him, then he wants to have a puppet show, all in order to keep you from turning off the light and leaving him to sleep. This kid has more stall tactics then Dean Smith's Carolina teams of the 80's.

But I learned, and have attempted to impart this wisdom on Renea, you have to be willing to walk away. I tell him to lay down, I will cover him, if he says "No Daddy." Then I tell him, "Good night, love you, see ya in the morning." I get half way down the stairs, and suddenly he turns into that car sales man that doesn't want to see his comission walk out the door, "Daddy! Cover Feet! Cover Feet!" which in two-year old speak means, "I'm laying down, I did what you want, now please cover me so I can sleep." I walk up the stairs, cover his feet, he isn't happy that he had to cave, so he calls for Mommy to lay with him, "Mommy too. Mommy too." I tell him Mommy is on the phone (which in our house is never a lie) and that he needs to go to sleep and be quiet. I say, "Love you Owen." As I walk down the stairs. I hear a, "Boo-Boo Daddy." (which is Owen for "I love you").

He isn't happy, some tears are shed, but he knows that he has lost, and that is hard at any age to handle.

Motivation

I have this file sitting on my desk. It has been sitting there since December 20th just mocking me. I have no idea what to do with this job. Where to start. My creative motivation to start this job is severly lacking. I have looked for possible photos to start the job, but none have the right feel or the right fit. So the job sits there, needing to be completed. Needing to be finished. I have done every meaningless, mindless job that has come in before this one so I don't have to sit there and stare at this job wondering what my next move will be, but alas I have finished all other jobs. It is the only one left, I must take it on. I must start somewhere. Surely there is something else I can do, something else to bide my time, but no the yellow folder sits there, looking like a job that should only take an hour, but has weighed on my mind for much much longer. I hate you little yellow folder.