All-Star Update #2: I’m In!

I received my letter yesterday from the Pirates letting me know that I have been accepted as a 2006 All-Star Ambassador Volunteer. I have to report to PNC Park on July 6th to get my assignment and to meet my volunteer supervisor, receive my free FanFest tickets, get my official “uniform” which I get to keep, and find out what the hell I will be doing. I am excited! Now is where the real fun begins . . . once I get my schedule, I could be up there for 4 straight days, or I could be one and done, so who knows, and if I am up there 4 straight days, what the hell do I do for a place to stay? My Dad lives in Morgantown, so I could stay with him and commute up every day, or I could slip an e-mail to a friend of mine who I used to coach basketball with and see if she minded me staying at her place . . . we will just have to wait and see. Whatever the arrangements, I will try my best to take a ton of photos and hopefully have a lot to share with everyone. Stay tuned.

Morons on the Golf Course

The other day I got a chance to play 18 holes of golf with my friend Tom. We knew they must have been running a special for Morons that afternoon cause they were all over the place.

First there was a two-some that were literally RUNNING to jump on the tee box in front of us so they could get off before we did. These 2 idiots are trying to catch up to the group in front of them, not so they can make a four-some, but so they can make a five-some . . . nothing like sitting behind 5 bad players all afternoon.

Then we were teeing off on #4, which is a long par 5 down a hill that runs parallel with #2 that goes up the same hill. I hit my drive out in the middle of the fairway and it rolls slightly into the rough to the right, between the #4 and #2. Tom hits his to the left so when we get to the fairway, he takes the cart and stays with his ball and I go look for mine. On problem, I can’t find it. Now I hate to lose balls anyway (especially if they are new like this one was) and I especially hate when I lose them in plain sight. Well coming up #2 was a two-some and they kept looking at me while I was looking for my ball and getting more disgusted by the minute. Tom hit (as the five-some cleared the green) and we both looked. Tom says, “I bet one of those guys picked up your ball.” I knew he was right, it had to be. So I jumped in the cart and flagged them down.

“Did you find a ball back there?” I asked the stupid redneck (he was a redneck cause he swiped my ball) with an orange t-shirt on.

“Yea, was it a Calloway?”

“Yes it is, did you pick it up?” Now I am getting disgusted, as I realize they did take it, watched me search for it, and still neglected to say anything.

He calls up to his equally redneckish buddy on the green who has my pilfered ball in his pocket, “Hey, that’s his ball. Throw it down.” So the guy chucks it down to me while his orange t-shirt wearing friend tries to explain.

“We found it back there on top of the hill.” I look at him with no expression just staring through him.

“We didn’t see anyone around.” This is the wrong answer.

“That’s because I was STILL ON THE TEE BOX!” At this point I knew I needed to get in the cart and drive away, cause the next step in this discussion was going to be me playing my 3 iron off his head.

As I drove away I heard . . . faintly, “Sorry.” Yea right, moron.

Next we catch up the five-some in front of us, just before they tee off on #6, do they let us play through? Nope. Morons.

Last thing, we were playing this short par 4 (#8) and we are just off the green and this ball lands not more than 15 yards from me, on the green, as I am lining up a putt. Tom runs to the front of the green in aggravated and throws his arms up in the air. The guy waves sorry then when they reach the green he apologizes to both of us. Now the problem I have is that he is obviously going for the green in one. So why not wait to make sure we are out of the way? Seriously, just wait even if you think the possibility is there of hitting us and go when we are done.

I also saw a guy playing without a shirt, a empty beer can thrown over the side of the hill next to the green, and so many diviots not replaced that you could have thought they were aerating the course.

(you would have thought all of this would have distracted me but I went 42-42 for an 84, I will take 5 strokes off for all I had to deal with and walk away with a 79. Sounds fair right?)

Summer Slow Down

Since all my shows shut down with the season finales and there haven’t been any new episodes I have gone into the Summer Slow Down with my TV watching. I have limited it to watching the Pirates and the one new show Windfall about a group of friends who win the lottery. I also have taken this time to start watching the 4400 on USA. I heard a few people talk about this show and so I was able to record a synopsis show that kinda brought you up to date as to what is happening (since I am jumping in on season 3) and I have to admit that I do like the show and will continue to watch.

Besides that and some PTI and some Y&R I am not that tied down to the TV and I have to admit that it is a nice feeling. I have only a few shows on the DVR that I need to get through, and when I say a few I mean 2 shows which is a big difference than the norm when there are usually 8-10 shows (way too many).

It is nice to not feel like I am missing something, or not keeping up-to-date on the latest and greatest shows and it is nice in the evenings to catch a baseball game (if you can stand to watch the Pirates blow lead after lead) or play a little PS2 and just let the day go.

I really like the quiet time between 9:00 and midnight, it is a nice time to just let your brain take a break and not worry about anything.

All-Star Update #1

Well this could be either a short-lived series of updates, or it could last through July and the All-Star game, depending on if I get picked to be an All-Star volunteer.

I attended a mandatory meeting on Friday at PNC park where we got envelopes that had our work schedules in it, then we sat in the stands and watched a video on the jumbotron about the 2005 All-Star game in Detroit and then we had a woman from MLB and a woman from the Pittsburgh Pirates H.R. Department (who by the way was a little too “gung-ho” for me and most of the crowd there.) We were informed that there have been over 3,500 people sign up to be volunteers and they only need about 1,600 and that we may not all be chosen. This worried me a little since I don’t live in Pittsburgh and I could be one of the first ones cut, but I left the work schedule wide-open so I could be available any time so that could be a plus for me.

After our little talk, we were instructed to go back in the same line we were in for our envelopes and give the workers our schedules and they would then ask us 5 short questions and we could then be on our way. Being in the U-Z line is an advantage as I was the second person to have my “interview” and after driving for 3 hours and getting there at 11:30 a.m. and meeting at noon, by 1:15 p.m. I was done. They said they will send us letters in the mail over the next 2 weeks letting us know if we made the cut or not, so I hope that I can continue on in the process or All-Star Update #2 might be the last update.

“Honey Bunny”

Owen uses this phrase a lot, and Renea nor I can figure out where this came from and what it means. It seems to be a catch-all for Owen and whenever he seems to be at a loss for words or just wants to be clowning around he says “Honey Bunny.” So tonight in the car on our way to get a Roast Beef sandwich from Arby’s for dinner (which I called a “Honey Bunny” sandwich so he would eat it, and it included special Hunny Bunny fries and Hunny Bunny juice) I decided to ask Owen what a Hunny Bunny looks like. Here is the conversation.

“So Owen, what does a Hunny Bunny look like?”

“It has feet . . . legs . . . arms . . . a pee-pee . . . and a bum.”

Renea asks, “Does it have a head?”

“Yes a head too, and ears, and a pee-pee and a bum.”


Well I am glad and now know what one looks like, and now you know too, so if you see one in your neighborhood, call the police, and don’t try to order the Hunny Bunny Combo at Arby’s they have no idea what that means.

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Off to All-Star orientation tomorrow, I will blog about that on Saturday. Will be away from a computer tomorrow.

Bloggin Back where I belong

Ok, ok I am trying to get back into the blog swing of things. I know it has been awhile but I will try to keep a better vigil with the blog.

About a week ago, Owen and I had a chance to spend 4 days with each other, and those 4 days were fun, but also a tad bit exhausting. I had to take Owen to my office two of the days and the other two days we spent hanging out. Here are some things I learned over those days:

• I am pretty sure Owen will be a lady killer. The boy can pick good-looking women out, and I am surprised about how forward he is, he will grab their hand pull them the way he wants to go and says “Come play with me.” I should have used this approach to pick up women when I was younger.

• Paperclips, and lots of them, are a good way to entertain a 2 year old. He’s old enough to know not to eat them, and young enough to not be bored within 30 seconds.

• Putt-Putt golf is definitely for kids 4 and over. A 2 year old only wants to test the physics of the ball on a lumpy putting surface.

• Owen is attached to all kinds of balls, and would not throw his ball in the hole on the 18th green. After seeing my ball disappear down a tube at the bottom of the hole, Owen declared, “No throw my ball in the tuba!”

• Telling your son to be quiet as you hustle out of the putt-putt area with a pilfered blue putt-putt golf ball may not be a good thing to teach your son.

• Don’t force food. When he/she is hungry they will eat.

• Do take advantage of places that will feed your kid for free. This helps with the last one, cause if your kid doesn’t eat the free stuff then you don’t feel like pushing him to eat it in fear of wasting it.

• The pet store to a 2 year old is just as good as any zoo.

• An umbrella and hose are fun for hours in the back yard on a sunny warm day.

• Owen discovered sweat for the first time, and asked me, “Daddy, why is my hair wet?” and that was the biggest thing I learned over those 4 days . . . that everything can be a new experience for children and some of the basic things we know are sometimes brand new to them.